- “Yeah, today I’m skiing, but snowblades are my real passion”
- “You know what would make this even better? Rain.”
- “Oh, do you need to get by? Here, just ski over the top of my skis.”
- “I wish I could have gone to work today instead of doing this.”
- “This place is way more fun when there’s about 36 inches less snow.”
- “You know what really made my skiing better in the past few years? The selfie stick.”
- “I never really liked face shots.”
- “Let me tell you about my top 5 mediocre ski days.”
- “If I know it’s going to be a powder day, I like to get up early, go to the gym and do 5-6 sets of squats and deadlifts, 4-5 reps each set, as heavy as I can, before I head up to the mountain to ski.”
- “In the summertime, I like to wear these boots when I take my dog for walks.”
- “… and I finally said to them, “Thanks, but 11 inches is way too much new snow for me. I think I’ll stay home this time.’”
- “If you know what you’re doing, one pole is more than enough.”
- “I hope my kids don’t ever want to experience something like this.”
- “… and then they said, ‘You can either keep dating me, or you keep skiing—not both.’ So today’s my last day of skiing, ever.”
- “It takes me an hour and a half to drive here, but I really only need to ski for about 30 minutes and I’m good for the day.”
- “I know, it’s a beautiful day and the snow is great, but I just can’t stop thinking about how I need to clean my garage.”
- “If we’re lucky, the wind will pick up to 35-40 mph after lunch.”
- “Ask anybody—The Phantom Menace is the best Star Wars movie of the whole franchise.”
- “I’m in charge of building the moguls here.”
- “I wish this chairlift ride took twice as long.”
- “My kid fell down at the top of Chair 9, but I was like, ‘Sorry, bud, it’s a powder day.’ He’s almost six—he’ll figure it out.”
—Brendan
More stories like this in my new book, Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems, out now.