Do you follow THOSE PEOPLE on Instagram? Their lives look so perfect!
Here’s the truth about them: Their lives ARE perfect!
They’re not just visiting that pristine alpine lake so they can wade thigh-deep into it to take a photo—THEY BASICALLY LIVE THERE. And they bathe in that lake every morning. You’re probably a bit jealous, because you … well, you don’t live next to a pristine alpine lake. And you have to take showers instead of alpine lake baths. And you have to clean your shower. Semi-regularly.
But those Instagram people. They’re always somewhere beautiful. And they’re always completely alone out there! You, on the other hand, hiked to Angels Landing and Horseshoe Bend and had to battle dozens of people to get a photo with no one else in it. Gah. Your life is at best mildly dissatisfying compared to the people you follow on Instagram, whose existence is 100 percent truthfully represented by the photos they share. Their stomachs are so flat! And their hair always looks fabulous.
Everyone is nice to them. All the time. Everywhere they go.
And it’s not just their photo you most recently saw in your timeline—their entire existence is perfectly in focus, has warm, golden lighting, and good weather. And their Instagram account is definitely populated in real-time—not by taking dozens of photos at one location and then sharing them later throughout the year. They are in the mountains, AGAIN. While you and I are sitting at our desks eating leftovers for lunch.
Their van is always as clean and organized as it is in their photos. All their stuff magically shrinks and disappears into the glove compartment every night! And their van doesn’t smell like dirty laundry, B.O., and mold. It smells like a campfire, sage, and desert dust.
They are always doing fun things! Don’t they ever work? No. No, they do not work. They do not have jobs.
In fact, they came out of the womb perfectly proportioned, fully-formed, happy adults, with six-pack abs, clutching a Ziploc bag with $2 million in unmarked $20 bills, which they have since used to fund their adventures without ever having to lift a finger except to occasionally post a photo to their social media accounts.
They have no bills! Or expenses. Their van runs on air instead of gasoline.
They don’t even have to eat. They obtain all of their nutrients through photosynthesis, and maintain consistent 8 percent body fat through carefree frolicking in places we all dream about vacationing.
They don’t exclusively do yoga near the ocean or in front of incredible mountain vistas, but … just kidding, of course they do! Where do you do yoga? Oh, a yoga studio? The living room floor? How … unextraordinary.
Look, I’m sorry to break it to you like this, so bluntly. The reason your life doesn’t look like someone else’s Instagram feed is because, well, the people you follow on Instagram are special. And you’re not. Instagram is the truth, not some carefully-photographed and curated selection of moments from people’s lives. Sorry, but really: Do you think social media would lie to you?
—Brendan
