1. Say “thank you.”
2. Don’t urinate on toilet seats.
3. When driving in traffic, waiting in line, or waiting on hold for what may seem an unjust amount of time, try Calming The Fuck Down. Inhale slowly and envision your lungs filling with air, and while exhaling, envision the universe continuing to not revolve around you.
4. Don’t stare at people. It can make them uncomfortable. If people want you to stare at them, they’ll let you know.
5. Don’t argue with people. Remember that time you argued with that person and they called you and idiot/an asshole/wrong and you immediately saw that they were right about whatever it is you were arguing about and you changed your mind? Huh.
6. Don’t catcall people. If you see an attractive person and are unsure what to do, not making an ass out of yourself by yelling something a fourth-grader could think up is usually a good preliminary step. From there, you could try grown up things like respectfully saying hello, or just leaving the person alone.
7. If you have garbage, place it into a trash can instead of onto the floor/ground next to the trash can.
8. When ordering a coffee or sandwich or engaging in another customer service transaction, put your phone away and focus your attention on the person helping you. Ask them how they are doing. Listen to their answer before you reply.
9. Don’t shoot a bunch of unarmed people.