38 Comments

  1. May 16, 2013

    This may be the best post of all time. I can now turn off the internet a happy man. Poop, a bear, Mount Rainier, and Alex Honnold–all bases covered.
    Thank you.

    Reply
  2. Anonymous in Tighty Whities
    May 16, 2013

    What about if you’re in a slot canyon?

    Reply
    • JEE
      October 11, 2013

      Pack it out. If you’re backcountry travel skills are good enough to get you into a slot canyon then implement ethics that will keep the area pristine and free of fecal microorganisms that may negatively impact the slot canyon environment and possibly make other travelers sick. Plus it’s gross..where’s the shit gonna go? Leave No Trace and go prepared. Check out uline, biffy bag, restop or cleanwaste products.

      Reply
  3. May 16, 2013

    Thanks for making poop funny again.

    Reply
  4. db
    May 16, 2013

    When will the Happily Semi-rad Mountaineering PVC Poop Pipe be available for purchase?

    Reply
  5. vanbiene
    May 16, 2013

    Is there an addendum for thai food?

    Reply
  6. Kirsten
    May 16, 2013

    Mt. Shasta might be the most involved mountain dump; you are given a paper bullseye for target practice then get to deposit the evidence of your aiming skills in a waxy paper bag filled with gravel to carry with you. The bag doesn’t really seal well and the likelihood of it ripping open is high. Awesome.

    Reply
    • Jeanne
      May 16, 2013

      You’ve got to love the Shasta bulls eye target, though! Miss that and the kitty litter on other mountains! I took a couple extras and used them for gag ‘white elephant’ gifts!

      Reply
  7. James G
    May 16, 2013

    If it flows too fast, be more careful about water purification.

    Reply
  8. May 16, 2013

    “You will be done climbing in a few minutes.”

    Money.

    Reply
    • Jeremy
      May 16, 2013

      couldn’t agree more Craig

      Reply
  9. Aaron F
    May 16, 2013

    What if -> you’re human -> its winter time -> its still dark out -> anything outside of the plowed parking lot is 4 ft deep of snow -> you MUST deposit before the climb -> fuck it -> go right next to your buddies car for everyone to smell :-) Shit happens mang!

    Reply
  10. Malcolm Daly
    May 16, 2013

    Awesome. True. But completely ignores pooping at the crag or boulderfield. If the answer to either of those locations is yes, you need to poop in a WAG Bag or equivalent and carry it out to the nearest trash can. You can also put your dog’s poop in the same bag.

    I’m tired of seeing shit at the crags.

    Reply
  11. May 16, 2013

    Yeah…dog poop in a bag is great….need flow chart reminder that even if plastic bag is labeled as “biodegradable” you can’t throw the poop bomb to hook on a tree branch or to explode on impact. Nope, can’t toss the bag into a snowbank either…. Carry the bag out!

    Reply
  12. May 16, 2013

    Yeah…dog poop in a bag is great….need flow chart reminder that even if plastic bag is labeled as “biodegradable” you can’t throw the poop bomb to hook on a tree branch or to explode on impact. Nope, can’t toss the bag into a snowbank either…. Carry the bag out!

    Reply
  13. May 16, 2013

    BrendanLeonard,

    Firstly – this is rad. Secondly, we have a mutual friend in common – actually, she got me hooked to your site…Jayme Moye. Thirdly – do we have permissions to post your napkin drawing if we give all permissions to you/this site? too informative not to share. I almost want to print it ON a napkin and carry it with me on hikes.

    kaymills

    Reply
  14. Brett
    May 16, 2013

    Everyone poops, but not everyone looks so stylish porting it out of the backcountry…

    http://www.bretthouston.com/yaktube/yaktube.html

    Reply
  15. Iain
    May 16, 2013

    Crossing a glacier in Switzerland I was annoyed by the amount of poop to be seen… and then the inevitable happened, I had to go.

    No bag to carry it out in. What to do?

    1) find crevasse
    2) build solid anchor
    3) Lower ass into crevasse
    4) Drop trow
    5) Try to relax; two ice screws and a dead-man, you’ll be fine…
    6) Wipe with snow (COLD!)
    7) Put trousers back into correct place
    8) Pull back up the rope

    Most exciting poo I’ve ever had.

    Reply
  16. May 16, 2013

    Pure awesomeness. I wish I was a bear.

    Reply
  17. May 17, 2013

    hiking or backpacking? which is yes and which is no? hahaha

    Reply
  18. May 17, 2013

    Excellent fodder for a large-sized fridge magnet. ;)

    Reply
  19. John
    May 18, 2013

    Awesome sauce!

    Reply
  20. May 21, 2013

    This flow chart should be in every hiking/bapckacking/climbing manual ever published. Well done, sir. Well done.

    Reply
  21. May 31, 2013

    I was wondering if one of thoes Drones would catch me pooping in the woods. Hope they get a good photo. Paul

    Reply
  22. Massive
    December 12, 2013

    Hmmm maybe you should elaborate on the grave bit… currently it’s open. And you forgot the “add some dirt then stir with a stick to aid rapid decomposition and make it less appealing for things that dig up poop”

    Reply
  23. January 10, 2014

    This is great! Thanks Brendan. We love following you in your travels and quest to live simply and passionately.

    For more specifics on how to properly dispose of human waste, check out http://lnt.org/learn/principle-3

    -Roland & Dani
    Subaru/Leave No Trace Traveling Trainers

    Reply

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