Everyone poops. What to do with it in the out-of-doors can sometimes be confusing. Thanks to this hastily-scrawled, handy flow chart, you can now know what to do when you’re out on the trail.
-Brendan
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44 replies on “Pooping In The Outdoors: A Flow Chart“
This may be the best post of all time. I can now turn off the internet a happy man. Poop, a bear, Mount Rainier, and Alex Honnold–all bases covered.
Thank you.
Anonymous in Tighty Whities
What about if you’re in a slot canyon?
JEE
Pack it out. If you’re backcountry travel skills are good enough to get you into a slot canyon then implement ethics that will keep the area pristine and free of fecal microorganisms that may negatively impact the slot canyon environment and possibly make other travelers sick. Plus it’s gross..where’s the shit gonna go? Leave No Trace and go prepared. Check out uline, biffy bag, restop or cleanwaste products.
Mt. Shasta might be the most involved mountain dump; you are given a paper bullseye for target practice then get to deposit the evidence of your aiming skills in a waxy paper bag filled with gravel to carry with you. The bag doesn’t really seal well and the likelihood of it ripping open is high. Awesome.
Jeanne
You’ve got to love the Shasta bulls eye target, though! Miss that and the kitty litter on other mountains! I took a couple extras and used them for gag ‘white elephant’ gifts!
James G
If it flows too fast, be more careful about water purification.
What if -> you’re human -> its winter time -> its still dark out -> anything outside of the plowed parking lot is 4 ft deep of snow -> you MUST deposit before the climb -> fuck it -> go right next to your buddies car for everyone to smell 🙂 Shit happens mang!
Malcolm Daly
Awesome. True. But completely ignores pooping at the crag or boulderfield. If the answer to either of those locations is yes, you need to poop in a WAG Bag or equivalent and carry it out to the nearest trash can. You can also put your dog’s poop in the same bag.
Yeah…dog poop in a bag is great….need flow chart reminder that even if plastic bag is labeled as “biodegradable” you can’t throw the poop bomb to hook on a tree branch or to explode on impact. Nope, can’t toss the bag into a snowbank either…. Carry the bag out!
Yeah…dog poop in a bag is great….need flow chart reminder that even if plastic bag is labeled as “biodegradable” you can’t throw the poop bomb to hook on a tree branch or to explode on impact. Nope, can’t toss the bag into a snowbank either…. Carry the bag out!
Firstly – this is rad. Secondly, we have a mutual friend in common – actually, she got me hooked to your site…Jayme Moye. Thirdly – do we have permissions to post your napkin drawing if we give all permissions to you/this site? too informative not to share. I almost want to print it ON a napkin and carry it with me on hikes.
kaymills
Brett
Everyone poops, but not everyone looks so stylish porting it out of the backcountry…
Crossing a glacier in Switzerland I was annoyed by the amount of poop to be seen… and then the inevitable happened, I had to go.
No bag to carry it out in. What to do?
1) find crevasse
2) build solid anchor
3) Lower ass into crevasse
4) Drop trow
5) Try to relax; two ice screws and a dead-man, you’ll be fine…
6) Wipe with snow (COLD!)
7) Put trousers back into correct place
8) Pull back up the rope
Hmmm maybe you should elaborate on the grave bit… currently it’s open. And you forgot the “add some dirt then stir with a stick to aid rapid decomposition and make it less appealing for things that dig up poop”
When I started taken my wife on multi day camping trips it was pooping outside that seemed to worry her the most. I,m pretty sure she waited way too long the first time and adopted the horse method, mostly through lack of time for preparation.
Seeing this, I am quite certain we are soul mates, not only because I will talk openly about poop, but also because I plan on naming my first born son Bear.
Lukas
Are you a bear. – Yes. – AWESOME.
I just ran into this post and couldn’t stop laughing. This is arguably the best flow chart of all time! I really enjoy reading all your posts, they are great! Best regards from Germany, Lukas
James
This may be the best post of all time. I can now turn off the internet a happy man. Poop, a bear, Mount Rainier, and Alex Honnold–all bases covered.
Thank you.
Anonymous in Tighty Whities
What about if you’re in a slot canyon?
JEE
Pack it out. If you’re backcountry travel skills are good enough to get you into a slot canyon then implement ethics that will keep the area pristine and free of fecal microorganisms that may negatively impact the slot canyon environment and possibly make other travelers sick. Plus it’s gross..where’s the shit gonna go? Leave No Trace and go prepared. Check out uline, biffy bag, restop or cleanwaste products.
Kim Kircher
Thanks for making poop funny again.
Christine
Yes, it’s been far too long 🙂
db
When will the Happily Semi-rad Mountaineering PVC Poop Pipe be available for purchase?
David
Already working on it!
Ted B
Also doubles as a potato cannon
vanbiene
Is there an addendum for thai food?
Kirsten
Mt. Shasta might be the most involved mountain dump; you are given a paper bullseye for target practice then get to deposit the evidence of your aiming skills in a waxy paper bag filled with gravel to carry with you. The bag doesn’t really seal well and the likelihood of it ripping open is high. Awesome.
Jeanne
You’ve got to love the Shasta bulls eye target, though! Miss that and the kitty litter on other mountains! I took a couple extras and used them for gag ‘white elephant’ gifts!
James G
If it flows too fast, be more careful about water purification.
Craig Rowe
“You will be done climbing in a few minutes.”
Money.
Jeremy
couldn’t agree more Craig
Aaron F
What if -> you’re human -> its winter time -> its still dark out -> anything outside of the plowed parking lot is 4 ft deep of snow -> you MUST deposit before the climb -> fuck it -> go right next to your buddies car for everyone to smell 🙂 Shit happens mang!
Malcolm Daly
Awesome. True. But completely ignores pooping at the crag or boulderfield. If the answer to either of those locations is yes, you need to poop in a WAG Bag or equivalent and carry it out to the nearest trash can. You can also put your dog’s poop in the same bag.
I’m tired of seeing shit at the crags.
Kathryn Grohusky
Yeah…dog poop in a bag is great….need flow chart reminder that even if plastic bag is labeled as “biodegradable” you can’t throw the poop bomb to hook on a tree branch or to explode on impact. Nope, can’t toss the bag into a snowbank either…. Carry the bag out!
Kathryn Grohusky
Yeah…dog poop in a bag is great….need flow chart reminder that even if plastic bag is labeled as “biodegradable” you can’t throw the poop bomb to hook on a tree branch or to explode on impact. Nope, can’t toss the bag into a snowbank either…. Carry the bag out!
Kay
BrendanLeonard,
Firstly – this is rad. Secondly, we have a mutual friend in common – actually, she got me hooked to your site…Jayme Moye. Thirdly – do we have permissions to post your napkin drawing if we give all permissions to you/this site? too informative not to share. I almost want to print it ON a napkin and carry it with me on hikes.
kaymills
Brett
Everyone poops, but not everyone looks so stylish porting it out of the backcountry…
http://www.bretthouston.com/yaktube/yaktube.html
Iain
Crossing a glacier in Switzerland I was annoyed by the amount of poop to be seen… and then the inevitable happened, I had to go.
No bag to carry it out in. What to do?
1) find crevasse
2) build solid anchor
3) Lower ass into crevasse
4) Drop trow
5) Try to relax; two ice screws and a dead-man, you’ll be fine…
6) Wipe with snow (COLD!)
7) Put trousers back into correct place
8) Pull back up the rope
Most exciting poo I’ve ever had.
Shelby
Pure awesomeness. I wish I was a bear.
adam
hiking or backpacking? which is yes and which is no? hahaha
Erinn Morgan
Excellent fodder for a large-sized fridge magnet. 😉
John
Awesome sauce!
Bob D
This flow chart should be in every hiking/bapckacking/climbing manual ever published. Well done, sir. Well done.
paul rauwolf
I was wondering if one of thoes Drones would catch me pooping in the woods. Hope they get a good photo. Paul
Massive
Hmmm maybe you should elaborate on the grave bit… currently it’s open. And you forgot the “add some dirt then stir with a stick to aid rapid decomposition and make it less appealing for things that dig up poop”
Leave No Trace Center for Outdoor Ethics
This is great! Thanks Brendan. We love following you in your travels and quest to live simply and passionately.
For more specifics on how to properly dispose of human waste, check out http://lnt.org/learn/principle-3
-Roland & Dani
Subaru/Leave No Trace Traveling Trainers
Carl
Brilliant 🙂
When I started taken my wife on multi day camping trips it was pooping outside that seemed to worry her the most. I,m pretty sure she waited way too long the first time and adopted the horse method, mostly through lack of time for preparation.
Britt
Seeing this, I am quite certain we are soul mates, not only because I will talk openly about poop, but also because I plan on naming my first born son Bear.
Lukas
Are you a bear. – Yes. – AWESOME.
I just ran into this post and couldn’t stop laughing. This is arguably the best flow chart of all time! I really enjoy reading all your posts, they are great! Best regards from Germany, Lukas