Perhaps you have read about Alex Honnold’s groundbreaking ropeless climb of El Capitan on June 3. Here are a few things you may not have known about Alex Honnold, many of which are also quite impressive.
- Alex Honnold did the Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim in the Grand Canyon in two big steps.
- Alex Honnold hand-jammed the entire Monster Off-Width on Freerider.
- Alex Honnold has paddled a whitewater kayak from the summit of Mt. Everest to Base Camp, in winter.
- Alex Honnold correctly predicted 100 percent of his NCAA Tournament bracket in last year’s office pool.
- Alex Honnold eats nine servings of fruits and vegetables per day.
- Alex Honnold understood Ulysses the first time he read it.
- Alex Honnold has never had a problem connecting to the wifi network anywhere.
- Alex Honnold got the new Jay-Z album two weeks before it came out.
- Alex Honnold onsighted your project.
- Alex Honnold’s van is zero-emission because it runs on the world’s collective awe at his climbing achievements.
- Alex Honnold set an FKT running the John Muir Trail barefoot while only eating plants he found along the trail. And he high-fived a black bear.
- Alex Honnold used all his vacation days last year.
- Alex Honnold surfed Teahupoo on the back of a tiger shark.
- Your dog is normally quite skittish around new people, but took immediately to Alex Honnold.
- Alex Honnold is secretly the creator of many of your favorite memes.
- Alex Honnold completed an Ironman Triathlon riding a razor scooter for the bike segment.
- Alex Honnold’s old climbing shoes smell like lilacs.
- Alex Honnold is actually also Jimmy Chin, and photographed himself free soloing Freerider.
- Alex Honnold parallel parked his van in a very tight space yesterday without even slightly bumping the cars in front of and behind him.
- Your cousin’s friend met Alex Honnold at an event a couple years ago and Alex Honnold was very friendly to him.
—Brendan
More stories like this in my new book, Bears Don’t Care About Your Problems, out now.