A REVOLUTIONARY NEW MOUNTAIN BIKE WHEEL SIZE.
WILL TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM.
please pause reading here for dramatic effect
TWENTY INCHES. That’s right. It wasn’t long ago that you skeptically eyed 29-inch wheels, thinking, “How could it make that much of a difference?” Then you tried your friend’s 29er and CRUSHED every root, step, and rock that had the misfortune to fall in your path.
Then you bought a fat bike, maybe because you commute to work year-round in Anchorage, or maybe because you had $2000 burning a hole in your pocket. Your spouse rolled his or her eyes at you and your funny-looking bike, until you effortlessly pedaled on snow, then beach sand, then water, like Jesus Christ himself, only on two wheels.
Then your friend told you about 27.5-inch wheels, and you were all Give Me A Break, what are these goddamn snake oil salesmen going to try to get me to buy next?
Well, let me tell you: A mountain bike with 20-inch wheels. You read that right. Never-before-seen performance, handling, agility, and turning radius. The first bikes built around the 20-inch wheel maximize pedaling efficiency by putting the riders’ knees high—next to the armpits when you’re in the saddle for a big climb.
You scoff. That Looks Like A BMX Bike, you say. Well, it’s not. It’s a mountain bike. You laugh now, but when every major bike magazine is writing about 20-inch wheels in six months, you’ll be the dickhead who doubted it. Dickhead.
Even minor bike magazines will write about 20-inch wheels, probably.
People in your Facebook feed who know stuff about bikes will post photos and statuses about lusting after the new “20-ers” that everyone seems to be talking about. And then you will want one.
You will ride with confidence, pulling through even the tightest switchbacks. You will effortlessly bunny hop over features. Wanna ride it to the bar afterward? You should, especially if you put foot pegs on the back so you can ride home with a lady (or gentleman) friend on the back.
Start saving your pennies. The first 20ers will roll off the line in early May.
[photo by Nick Soloninka/riNICKulous]